Relationships matter

I wish I wish I wish… that I could share photos and videos of my youth at Denney. This morning I had a private lesson with a brilliant ray of sunshine , and I just don’t know how to convey the way she was beaming today. She walked in the room with a big smile and asked if she could look up a certain song to dance to. I said sure, and when she found it she said “Oh my God, I feel like I’m gonna cry.”

I asked why she chose that particular song, and she said, “Well, it’s kind of a love song.” Then she told me a little about being separated from her boyfriend. She said she has felt so down and lonely the last month. I asked her to tell me more about her boyfriend, and I think she loved that she was able to talk to someone about it.  I doubt she has many opportunities to do that. I wonder if she’s had opportunities to process her relationship with anyone all this time..? We generated 60 seconds of movement based on her memories with him, and her energy was contagious.

I remember feeling so invisible as a teenager. I remember being forbidden to date someone and the anger I held toward my parents for demanding I shut down my feelings, especially when his mother passed unexpectedly and he sought me out for comfort. Trauma bonds are the tightest and hardest to break— it was easier for me to sneak around than it was to loosen his hold. I understood why they didn’t want me to see him, but relationships are sooo powerful.

I thanked my dancer for sharing her stories with me, and she said she was really glad I came. She said, “You remind me that there are people who care about me and then I don’t feel so hopeless.”

Oh, sweet girl… you matter so, so much. I’m sorry that you have ever been treated otherwise. I hear your strong heart the second you enter the room. Hold your hope tight, dear one. You matter. ❤️

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